I did not realize, when first read this line, that it meant that I had to learn to be more honest with myself. That it meant learning how to dig deeper, to peal away the layers of lies I have told myself and my loves. I had long lost that skin that separates you from me. I lost myself long ago. I could reframe, deny or simply ignore what stared me straight in the face every day.
I really thought that it meant that I had to not lie to you. I could do that, when I needed to. I knew when I lied, just figured it was none of your business. Lying to others is really not that big a problem. It is lying to myself that is the problem.
So, here are a few things I have learned along the way. These are what I believe are the basics to recovery. Recovery from mental illness and recovery from dependency. Most of it I have learned through the grace of my wonderful, courageous and generous patients. And, some of it I earned from my own pain and egregious ego, and from those few moments of enlightenment.
No comments:
Post a Comment